In my last year of school I seriously considered going to university in order to become a Laboratory Technician—one of those people who test blood and urine and other “liquids”. What was I thinking?! The idea now seems absurd and I feel a little frightened that I could have considered taking a direction in my life so against my interests and nature.
I was not good at science, but I had a chemistry teacher, Mrs Offenburger, who decided that she was going to get me to pass my School Certificate (the New Zealand public examination) Chemistry Examination with an honourable mark, something that would not have happened if she had not given me her devotion and time.
I will never forget her generosity and careful and thorough teaching. I felt cared about and was immensely grateful. But how terribly misguided it would have been if I had pursued a science career. The only reason I could have contemplated it is because I didn’t take myself seriously: I was generally not aware of my own feelings about my school work (my primary goal was to be successful, not to satisfy my own curiosity or determine what ignited my passion) and if I was aware of my feelings, I did not attach any meaning or significance to them.

I can now look back on my high school years and remember the deep attraction to reading, writing, words, biographies (people’s lives), drama and stories. I disliked art class enormously but I remember the class when we were first introduced to a loom and were taught how to weave. I decided to make a patchwork skirt of vibrant colours, and those colours brought me to life and are seared into my brain. I also remember the visceral pleasure when I was travelling with my family and would see a particularly beautiful night sky or marveled at the Kauri forests in the Coromandel Peninsula which I now recognize as a deep love of nature.

Did I ever consider any of these things when I was thinking about a university education and a career? No. I went to Secretarial School, one of the common and acceptable jobs for women “back in my day”. I was successful in my business career and when I moved to Vancouver eventually became General Manager, Office Automation division, of the company I worked for which has definitely helped in my teaching today. However it wasn’t until I was in my 40s that I realized that my deep love of children, stories, drama, literature, andpsychology were where my passions lay, and where I could more clearly express my own creativity and therefore hopefully unique perspectives.

As parents we must be alert to the clues our children give us about their interests and desires. For the elementary school student, this means listening attentively to their pleasures and their whines and inviting responses, whatever they might be, about school and extracurricular activities. The high school years can be very stressful for teens as they experience pressures from parents and schools to know what they want to do with the rest of their lives. They often—mostly—don’t know. A way to help, without adding stress, is to encourage the sharing of their innermost feelings and ideas without judgement. Hard to do! I wish I had had adults at my boarding school who had helped me get in touch with my true loves and had validated me. I wouldn’t have wasted hours thinking about chemistry labs or had to find the courage to change careers midlife.