Parent: “How was your day?”
Child: “Awful. I hate Suzie. She was mean to me”. If you are a normal parent you might feel like saying:
“what did you do to Suzie for her to be mean to you?”, or “you shouldn’t hate Suzie, that isn’t kind”,
or “you should be nice to her and then she will be nice back”.

Don’t. Parenting requires discipline (of the parent!). Of course, you want your child to be caring and kind. But, paradoxically, if you allow your child to express difficult and hurt feelings *she will then be free to get in touch with her natural kind and generous feelings. While the difficult feelings are swirling around, with no outlet for her true experience, all other feelings are blocked. Remember that the expression of ALL feelings is healthy for your child; it does not define who she is as a person. In the meantime you are learning more about your child and how she feels and experiences her world. Your values are not being attacked or jeopardized by a child’s honesty.
Life in the school playground is tough. It is often unfair and sometimes mean. Your child needs you to listen to her point of view and to feel understood.
Remember:

encourage all feelings
you don’t have to solve the problem, you just have
to listen
don’t take it personally

*substitute he/his for your son