Blog entries

INITIATIVE

Administrator — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 23:13:40 +0100

Some of my women friends complain about the distribution of household chores and parenting duties. Even when husbands are able to participate fully, women acknowledge that it is not satisfying when they have to ask their spouse to do something; and it is enormously satisfying if the husband instead takes the initiative to carry out a task that he knows requires doing, without being asked.

Similarly, it is frustrating to constantly have to nag a child to do something when the child i...

RESILIENCE

Administrator — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 23:11:30 +0100

I watched a lot of Barack Obama’s inauguration day. There were many moments when I could see the audience
on television getting teary-eyed and I got teary-eyed a couple of times watching Sasha and Malia. Their natural
delight and excitement moved me—the innocence and honesty of children often do. These two little girls seem
comfortable in their own skin. They have obviously not been coerced to be like little adults, just themselves, and their bright smiles seemed genuin...

DRAMA (No. 1)

Administrator — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 23:06:22 +0100

What do my students under the age of ten most love to do in drama class? PLAY! Without exception, they love to assume a character, plot a story, examine conflict and use their wild imaginations.

They invent the most improbable, fantastic stories that make perfect sense to them. Maybe the mermaid has a pet squirrel – and maybe the squirrel is sometimes able to live under water and the mermaid is sometimes able to move around on the land; maybe the girl protagonist can tal...

FIRST IMPRESSIONS

Administrator — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 23:04:36 +0100

I was watching a rerun of one of my favourite television shows recently (a satire about the television talk show
industry). In this particular segment, the talk show host is ill from food poisoning and they can’t get another celebrity to fill in at short notice. The producer finally asks the host’s sidekick to host the show but he has serious doubts about the sidekick’s ability to pull it off.

Hank (the sidekick) is also terrified. But he pulls himself together and ...

STORIES

Administrator — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 23:03:00 +0100

All children love stories and I am enchanted when I see the rapt attention I receive from a group of students when I tell them about a story in my life (which I often do).

They are astounded to hear about the year I lived on Big Balcony at my boarding school, exposed to the wind and rain (and how I would store my school uniform at my feet overnight so that it would be warm when I wriggled into it in the morning). They are both horrified and intrigued that I bit a girl in Grade ...

WRITING IS IN THE DETAILS

Administrator — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 23:00:54 +0100

The most common suggestion school teachers make on my students’ school report cards for improving writing skills is that they should write “more detail”.

Sometimes children find this difficult because the teacher has assigned a subject the child does not easily relate to. This is why I ensure that my students decide what they want to write about. Usually they have lots to say when they are enthusiastic about a topic. I also ensure that I get to really know the child—not just his i...

SCHOOL (No. 3)

Administrator — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 22:58:11 +0100

The Coromandel Peninsula on the north-east coast of New Zealand is my favourite place in the world. I spent several hot summer Christmas holidays there with my family when I was a child. I never failed to be delighted by wiggling my toes in the sand of Hot Water Beach, along the shoreline, and feeling the hot spring water bubbling up from the earth’s depths, covering my feet. What a delicious feeling to be in the sea hot and cold at the same time. The deep crimson flowers of the pohutukawa ...

SCHOOL (No. 2)

Administrator — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 22:56:09 +0100

To become a good writer, you must read. To more fully understand the world, and possibly yourself, you must
read. I loved reading as a child because it helped me make sense of the world: I particularly enjoyed autobiographies and discovering how other people thought and felt. But there are many reasons for reading – the experience can provide comfort (there are other people like me), solace, take you on an adventure, expand your horizons, delight and amuse you, and allow you to i...

SCHOOL (No. 1)

Administrator — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 22:52:35 +0100

I am astonished at how many of my students find school boring and often unfulfilling. Children are naturally curious and creative and it is infuriating to see these attributes often diminished in our children as they go through school. Their ability to live up to their potential and experience the joy of their own increasing intellectual and emotional development are jeopardized.

On a practical level, employers are increasingly wanting young people who ar...

TALK TO ME! (No. 3)

Administrator — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 22:51:04 +0100

Relationships are hard work but hard work usually brings results, and with our loved ones, a sense of connection and intimacy. Parents today lead busy lives; managing our children’s many after-school activities and chauffeuring them to and fro can be enormously time-consuming. Looking after the practical aspects
of their lives can sometimes feel like a full-time job. It is easy to forget, in the day to day bustle, that the
relationship between you and your child is the most ...

TALK TO ME! (No. 2)

Administrator — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 22:48:52 +0100

Parent: “How was your day?”
Child: “Awful. I hate Suzie. She was mean to me”. If you are a normal parent you might feel like saying:
“what did you do to Suzie for her to be mean to you?”, or “you shouldn’t hate Suzie, that isn’t kind”,
or “you should be nice to her and then she will be nice back”.

Don’t. Parenting requires discipline (of the parent!). Of course, you want your child to be caring and kind. But, paradoxically, if you allow your child to expre...

TALK TO ME! v1

Administrator — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 22:39:50 +0100

TALK TO ME!
Parent: “How was your day?”
Child: “Good”
This kind of response from their child often frustrates parents. “How can we get them to talk to
us?”, parents plead.

There are many parts to the answer (more later), but first, change the climate of your interactions. Avoid
having the child feel interrogated. For example, share something about YOUR day and YOUR
feelings first. “Gee, it was so hot today, I found it really...