Relationships are hard work but hard work usually brings results, and with our loved ones, a sense of connection and intimacy. Parents today lead busy lives; managing our children’s many after-school activities and chauffeuring them to and fro can be enormously time-consuming. Looking after the practical aspects of their lives can sometimes feel like a full-time job. It is easy to forget, in the day to day bustle, that the relationship between you and your child is the most important thing.

We want our children to talk with us so that we know what is happening in their lives and can support them with their decisions and problems. But we also want them to feel cherished and loved. This requires trusting encounters with parents in order to provide our children with a solid foundation for secure and expressive lives. We talk with our children when they have problems, when they require instruction, when they ask us questions ……but in order for a child to feel nurtured, we must initiate individual time (it doesn’t have to be a lot) to talk or play with them on their terms. We must communicate that we choose (among the myriad tasks of the day) to be with them.

Giving them our undivided attention and understanding their perceptions and feelings makes a child feel safe and strengthens the bond between the two of you. (If your child is feeling more restrictions or stress than usual in day to day life, extra close time with you can help diminish frustration).

Remember:

initiate individual one-on-one time with your child
give undivided attention and contact
understand their feelings and perceptions